I never knew really why trust was so hard for me, because I haven't really experienced anything big that would affect me trusting anyone. Recently I knew, I don't like pain or hurt. I've had a couple experiences where I was in pain and some people have hurt me. The hurt I'm talking about is broken relationships. Relationships are very important to me and once i get close, it makes it hard to let go. People have rejected me, people have said one thing but did another, and I was tired of it.
I think that's why trust is so hard for me.
At camp this year, I learned a lot more about trust, not so much in the devotion times, but in the activities. We did so many trust exercises that required either help or encouragement, without those two, the camp would've been impossible.
Here are some of the activities:
This activity required 2 people to help peel and eat an banana, it's impossible to do it yourself without any help from anybody else and any other body part. With 2 people it's easier to help each other peel and eat the banana.
This activity required everyones hand to help the marbles to get into the bucket. Without one hand, we couldn't have done it with how many pipes we had and how they were all differently shaped.
This was about boys getting on one side and girls on another. At first we were all jumbled. We had to use each other to get across to the other side. There was a leader directing on how to do this and everyone else pretty much just followed.
Another group activity where we all had to help and get everyone across. We had to decide who to bring over first and who to bring over last. Also what was difficult was that when we had used a hole to bring someone through we couldn't use it again.
Anyways, I think my point is made clear. There were other activities that weren't group, but without encouragement we would've died.
I have a fear of pain, as said before. I just don't like to be in pain, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I've come to realize that a little pain is good for you, it helps you grow and learn. Also it makes you more vulnerable. If I hadn't experienced any pain, I wouldn't be who God wanted me to be.
God created pain, it makes His children lean and trust Him more. I have recently considered myself ignorant as I have been 'safe' and staying in my comfort zone (as talked about in the 'Do Hard Things' post).
Trust in the Lord, trust in His plans, trust that He has PERFECTION for you. This is reminder to me, as I have my issues with trust.
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